I took down the Christmas tree, shopped for groceries with all of San Francisco, and started a two month retreat from desserts this weekend.
Predictable and VERY happy new year.
I'm a big fan of new years. I understand that it's only a number on a calendar that is really changing, but I love the newness, the hope of some sort of better me. I expected last year to have gone much differently than it did (i.e. easier ;), but at the end of the year, I had a healthy baby and hopefully a whole lot more character built through the challenges. It feels good to emotionally leave the (almost two years of) bad health as a memory, and be able to fully enjoy this stage of our lives.
I had such high hopes of sharing with you the wealth of learning I did during Jack's birth and bringing him home and juggling three children, teaching my baby the beauty of sleep, etc.... but I truly couldn't properly think until week 12, during which the Christmas season was in full effect.
My mom reminded me (on week 11 when I was talking about how I'm finally coming out of the haze) that the first 12 weeks of our babies' lives can be called the 4th trimester. Hormones are out of balance, our bodies are trying to recover from a significantly painful procedure, and we are rest-deprived while trying to bounce back asap to create some semblance of normalcy for our older children. It was a comfort to hear that my flailing attempts at doing it all were unnecessary, and I could forgive myself for falling behind in so many areas. I'm the type who wants to just bounce back! The Rosie the Riveter concept that "I can do it all" and "nothing needs to hold me back."
To moms having babies, here are my biggest tips and words of wisdom: ... it IS okay to be far from where you were pre-baby. It IS okay to have a huge mess, it's okay if you don't write on your blog for months even when you promised you would (wink, wink), and it IS okay if your daughter gets to school a few minutes late sometimes, and if you just completely forget about soccer practice. You just had a baby.
SO. I've now muddled my way through all of that, and have come out on the other side of the holiday season invigorated. I'm excited to get Sophie to school, Maggie to extracurriculars, and get the grocery shopping done in person (though special thanks to San Francisco for having Instacart and insta-everything to deliver groceries as needed these months). I'm thrilled to be typing words on here (though pardon any typos/grammar; time is totally limited here). I'm excited to organize and keep color coordinated closets and bookshelves back in order. We're all sleeping through the night and Jack is about to move to his own crib, and the forecasts are rainy and cozy. I'm aware that days ahead will hold their own challenges, and that this year- as all years- cannot be perfect... but for today, I'll just worry about today, and I'll declare it to be a good one.