On Bad Movies by Kate Brightbill

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The other day, my parents watched our kids overnight while we attended a benefit for UCSF children's hospital. Sounds very fancy, right? So grown-up and 35 of us. And it was all that, but we're not all that... but I love UCSF hospitals, and I love that we got to be a part of benefitting them, so there IS that. Also, this post is mostly about bad movies, but I put a good picture up because we watched a bad movie on the same day that I wore my new favorite skirt on earth, and I'd rather have that in my memory bank than said bad movie. Makes sense, I know.

{spoiler alert for The Avengers movie coming. don't read any more if you want to watch it.}

Anyway, the benefit ended at 5 and we ate right after, and we had all this time on our hands, so we went to see the new Avengers. Listen, I'm up for a good superhero movie anytime! Mostly I go for the popcorn, but I also go because I can feel awesome at the end. Like I'm the superhero and we're all winning. We got there early, got good seats, said no to popcorn because this horrid detox I'm doing doesn't say "yes" to fun, even when all the circumstances do...* sidenote: I had a piece of cheese and nuts at the benefit. Literally. It was so sad. Then on Cinco de Mayo dinner, I had tortilla soup without tortilla chips. It's enough to shake your head at me in disgust, and I just want to let you know, I get it. I'm shaking my head in disgust too. But I'm also super healthy right now, and in two weeks, I will most certainly be eating tacos again.*

So this movie is absolutely the opposite of anything awesome. I'm sorry to all you Marvel people. I'm no comic book guru, and I only go to movies when we have an overnight sitter situation (rare!) and if there happens to be one out in theaters during that window of opportunity. I know I'm probably offending the die-hard, but oh man, avoid this movie at all cost.

The bad guy KEEPS WINNING. Til the end! He wins the universe!

And then - as if the loss of power to the bad guy itself isn't sufficient- half the good guys turn into dust. Yes, dust. I'm sure there's some great meaning behind all this and theories about what the next movie will bring (all the superheroes back to life, SURELY and some kind of victory), but while all the true fans were on their phones googling the obscure Avengers meaning to this miserable flick, I was googling "is the new Avengers movie the stupidest movie ever made?" I meant it quite literally and expected google to return with commiserated opinion by the hundreds, but it didn't.

SO. All these movies say you have to watch through the credits for the bonus scenes! Ahh, that must be why there isn't consensus on how awful this was! The bonus scene will surely reveal victory. 

Yes, there's a bonus scene.... no it did not feel like a bonus. There are two more superheroes who weren't in this particular edition, so the bonus scene obliterated THEM to dust too. Because our collective hearts weren't quite crushed enough.

Thanks Marvel. 

Are there even movies made for the "me's" of this world anymore? I'm so over You've Got Mail and The Holiday, and even Notting Hill! The me's of this world have loved those movies a bit too long and we're completely over solo night at home including repeats that we've essentially memorized. I miss the "chick-flick" genre- the kind where the girl ends up with the one she loves and adores and charms all through the movie, and there's nothing truly realistic about any of it. These movies are no longer created! I'm thinking I might need to calm my hype over Oceans 8 coming this summer because given the obnoxious realistic movie trends, this particular Oceans might result in all the characters being shipped to isolation in prison, never to be seen again... in the name of realistic fiction. 

Anyway, clearly it's not the me's that make the box office get to a billion in record time (insert the completely ill emoji here- because this atrocious movie set that record), so the trends might continue...

It's time for me to face facts. Fact is, I'm 35! I'm officially not the target demographic anymore (answering surveys in the 35-50 makes me kind of not want to answer surveys anymore. There's no space to write that I'm actually that very bottom 35 number of the demographic, just barely out of the target market, and SUPER young in real life). 

I don't really have anywhere to go with this blog post. I just felt like I needed to put my feelings about the Avengers into the universe on my obscure blog on the internet, and now I feel better. Closing a blog post when I'm this rusty on the writing is virtually impossible, plus, I only have about 30 minutes till pickup for the kids, and about 55 minutes worth of work to get done around here. Byeeeee. See you next time.

xx.

Raising Girls by Kate Brightbill

Hi! Long time since I've written, even though I have had so much to say! It seems that parenting three children leaves little extra time on the day to day to circle around to the computer for a typing session! 

I've come out of blog retirement today, and I hope to stay online here. Blogs aren't really read these days the way they once were, and that is perfectly fine. It's the circle of life... something takes its place (social media) and takes less time and less clicking and truly is sufficient for most online experience. I personally take the time to read sites only once per week- actually more like monthly, so I get it.

I've come to the blog to share these videos and articles, which I really just want on more than just my instagram. Our Sophie girl was asked to join a panel of 7-10 year old girls on this tiny show called Good Morning America (!!!) to talk about what it means to be a girl today. We said ummm YES, and saved that date! 

We arrived and the girls sat immediately. They were set up in a row of chairs under glares of lights and cameras and people bustling around signing papers and connecting sound systems. There wasn't a warm up or someone sprucing them up- they simple came as themselves and answered questions as they were asked. As soon as papers were set, they started rolling cameras.

The group of girls blew their parents away with their ability to focus and answer far more eloquently than I would have at that age. They spoke about standing up for friends who aren't being kind, they talked about how they do not feel stereotyped or put into a box of lower expectation, even if they do like girly things, and they chatted about role models. They were poised and attentive and all that we could hope for them to be.

Some thoughts on the subject: my girls ARE stereotypical girls- they love their dolls and their shades of pinks and purples and twirling... but we want them to understand that they are just as capable as boys to do great things. They can be inventors or CEOs or musicians or stay-at-home-moms. God created us with different passions and talents, and we believe they can pursue them. We teach them that girls don't HAVE to like princesses, but princesses are often not only wear beautiful dresses, but teach lessons on being brave and strong and courageous too ("have courage and be kind," are words repeated around here often, and are a lesson from Cinderella).

So many of these and more concepts were addressed during the 45 minutes the girls spent on camera, but obviously this was a short segment from that time, so not everything could be shared. 

ANYWAY, this motherly pride has to land somewhere, and this blog has been sitting and waiting for something to appear on it... so here is our girl on Good Morning America!

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Perspective by Kate Brightbill

 photo via Disney

photo via Disney

Last night we let the girls watch The Queen of Katwe. Have you seen it? It's a beautiful story about a girl in Uganda who lives a life of poverty in a slum, but is given hope in her future through her masterful ability to play the game of chess. 

We are living an average middle class American life in one of the most affluent cities in the world. Our children use phrases like "should we Uber or Lyft?" (probably Lyft, given Uber's current PR snafu), and "daddy, make sure you get the brown eggs that are 'organic farm fresh'" (anyone else see the specials on standard eggs and make the same switch??), and "Mommy, I have a tummy ache, can we get some chia seed juice?" Bottom line: we live in a bubble of beautiful views, weird tech lingo and attempts at nutritious lifestyle, while also shamefully paying $5 for a scoop of (incredible) insta-hyped ice cream in a cone. Welcome to San Francisco, friends. 

We are raising children who live in this bubble, children who have not yet seen the world, and it's something I wish I could show them firsthand, but it's not yet the right time.

Before having children, I felt in my heart that someday I would be bringing my five-year-old to African villages and teaching them about life and struggle and hope through people who lived it and are living it. I would definitely be cultivating a desire and passion in my future children by physically taking them on trips to do what we can help all people. Twelve years later, I have not even returned to Africa or Haiti on my own, let alone with our entire family.

Good intentions only go so far, so we show them the Queen of Katwe to give a glimpse into a child's life that is so different from their own.

The struggle for Brian and me, as I'm certain can be relatable for many middle-class-American families is: how do we create a childhood for our children that is full of beautiful moments and memories, giving them everything we can to become set for success and smiles... while simultaneously teaching them to CARE for the world as much as they care for themselves. To care for people, care about stories of others- whether good or bad- to care that there are motherless children and with a monthly allowance, we actually have the privilege of helping those children? To teach them that the world does not actually revolve around them-- and that them complaining of wanting Indian takeout rather than the Thai takeout is the epitome of ungratefulness?

Well. 

After watching the Queen of Katwe with our children to teach them perspective, it is me who learned the lesson... AGAIN. The lessons I so badly want to teach my children begin with me. I wake more mornings than I'd like to admit, groaning about peeling my sleepy self out of my soft covers when my beautiful healthy toddler yells "mama up?, daddy up? mama? mama?" Bleary eyed, I walk to his room and pick him up. My dear son has all his needs filled and his health intact. He knows his next meal will come at the right time and that he has clean water or milk at his disposal. If I think beyond my sleepiness, I am beyond grateful to God for all of these things we have been given. 

Should this not be sufficient in giving me a heart full of overflowing thankfulness and wanting to give back to others? How then do I find myself becoming a bear when I realize that I have run out of coffee filters and need to walk three blocks with three children to the coffee shop to purchase a cup without blinking at the price until I can replace said filters? 

There you have it. An attitude of ungratefulness in me is something that is passed down without ever noticing. A chat about how thankful I am for coffee at all is the better option, and it was my reality today, after my dose of perspective last night.

Tomorrow I will undoubtedly forget again... and the tomorrows after that, I will forget again. My children will notice and do the same.

But some days I will remember to cultivate hearts of thankfulness and teach our children to care for others right in front of us, and around the world. And some days I will teach the right things at the right times. 

And I pray that's what sticks.

xx

Prynt Love by Kate Brightbill

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There is a lot of technology out there for pictures: photo book apps, print apps, etc., but none of them has been quite as simple for me as the Prynt case and app. I've thought to myself so many times about how I should really go and make a quick photo book using one of the photo book apps with pictures from this or that trip, or memory. It just isn't as easy as pressing a PRINT icon and having my photo just come right out from my Prynt case in the comfort of a chair in my living room...

I got my first Prynt case last Mother's Day and it was a gift I kept using and using... but I upgraded my phone last fall and never ordered the adaptor for my new phone, so it sat unused for months. Prynt offered to send the new version to me, and I happily accepted. I've missed the ability to print photos and tape them to the wall and keep them updated around the house!! 

The app is user-friendly in every way. It's become even simpler to use this time around-- just plug your phone into the case, turn it on and open the Prynt application, and take a picture + a video (you can edit the picture in the app if you want! I find that I like to make mine extra bright because they print in slightly darker, more saturated colors), then hit the Prynt icon and your picture come right out of the machine. I LOVE IT. I've used the prints in the cutest spread over the girls' dresser in their room... just got some washi tape and taped them right up there. The girls love having their friends' faces and good memories to see every day. 

Last year, I made a video to show how to use the Prynt case specifically, so if you're interested in some extra info on it, click HERE to see my post. ;) 

Prynts are perfect for end-of-year cards or small memory books for teachers (the simplest and VERY meaningful gift!!), for recaps of vacations this summer, and for every-day entertainment. My kids literally hover around the Prynt to watch the magic after taking a picture, which is so much like the good ol' days. 

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Brian was kind enough to take a pic from behind the scenes. Here's what we crazies look like when I take a shot of them by a random wall in the city. Mostly they're dancing and Jack is looking like "my sisters are crazy but I love it anyway." 

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They crack me up so much!! The verbals were: me, "wait for it, wait for it, wait for it... voila!!" and them: "let me see, let me see!!" and Jack making noise and waving his hands because he can tell they're excited and he wants to get in on everyyyything. 

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One last thing: do you see the key at the bottom right of the images? THAT, my friends, is a video. Using the Prynt App, you can scan the pictures and see the cute little videos behind them! This works best if you want to send a little card over to a friend-- record a video of your kiddos telling their friends happy birthday or hello, we miss you!, and have the ability for them to watch the message from their app! So cute!

And there you have it! So much fun in one little machine. Makes me so happy to have all the fun back in my hands ready for summer break... Thanks so much Prynt! xoxo

Maybe they won't need therapy? by Kate Brightbill

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Last week, Brian found an old blog post that I wrote on a family blog when I used to do that sort of thing. He told the girls to listen as he read something he found that day... and when he had finished, we had two little girls beaming in pride. 

"Who wrote that???" they said, "Is that about us?"

He told them it was their mommy that wrote it, and they looked at me with wide eyes and smiles, then Sophie said "Ohh Jack, when you're a big boy, I think mommy will probably write something like that about YOU too!" Both girls hugged me tightly and kissed me and told me they loved it.

The writing was nothing phenomenal or special, and I had no idea that their hearts would be so full from something so simple. I've been writing during their naps and bedtimes since they were born-- some years more than others-- and I realize that they have had no idea, really. They have seen me with a computer occasionally typing, but I just say "girls, I have a little work to do while you play," and they don't really ask questions about it. 

I have often wondered if children of bloggers will need some special kind of therapy when they are grown. We are the first generation of parents inclined to create sites to remember the small details of our children's lives. Kids have SO much time in front of cameras, and parents like me share musings about their childhood on websites... It has made me cautious about how much I share (frankly, not much), and how many pictures I take (frankly, way too many).

I've had moments of mom-guilt while typing (and subsequently deleting) blog posts reflecting on the small and big details of days I thought were special. "These moments don't need to be typed. They were just enjoyed and let that be enough," I tell myself. Less is more, right? People must think I'm the chronic over-sharer. Ugh, I should stop writing. I should simply step away and be vague and skip the sharing-the-heart posting. Maybe "they" are right. 

But there is something inside of me that wants to keep writing. Something that tells me that maybe- just maybe- my children will be... dare I say... thankful  rather than resentful? Thankful for the reflections, thankful for the words? Maybe they will actually appreciate that I share the memories, and their mama's perspective while living those moments. Maybe when they are living similar moments in their future, they will find my words a comfort. Maybe they will understand how deeply I love them through the words typed on a screen.

So I will write. I will write for me, and I will write for them. Here or there, in the quieter spaces where no one else reads, I can write my heart.

xo

Managing Crazy Kid-Hair by Kate Brightbill

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Post is sponsored by SoCozy. All opinions are my own.

I was pregnant for the first time nine years ago, which is a thought that completely blows my mind. When they say time flies, "they" aren't kidding. I was pregnant and deep in the baby product research phase... checking ratings on any and everything that would touch my precious firstborn's skin. As I researched, I realized that the basic baby shampoos often have pretty harsh ingredients, but said products at the time were the best for helping with cradle cap and eczema. It almost couldn't be helped. After Sophie was born, I switched from brand to brand, and never quite found the winning product. When Maggie came along, I tried out the Honest products... I liked their diapers far and above all others, but their shampoo just didn't quite get the job done. The flakiness remained on Maggie's baby scalp far longer than I would like, but I couldn't go back to non-toxic once I knew the ingredients, even if I knew they would be more effective, so I kept it coming to the house.

When I was first introduced to SoCozy, it was a new product on the market. The smell in itself was enough to keep me interested... then there was the fact that it wasn't simply shampoo and conditioner for children... it was non-toxic shampoo and conditioner. They also have lice spray (keep the lice OUT of my home, yes please!), they have styling gels in different holds for all the baby and children's hair textures. They even have products specifically devoted to swim hair. The key to SoCozy: it actually works. It cured the flakiness and keeps hair fresh. We've used everything SoCozy offers except the curls line (my children have the straightest hair!), and now we're using... 

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The sensitive line! YES, SoCozy launched a sensitive line that I so wish I had when Maggie was a baby. The line is called SoCozy Hush, and offers shampoo & conditioner (it's a 2-in-1), a de-tangler, a scalp serum, and a styling foam. 

I am legit excited about the shampoo/conditioner (something only a mother would say). The top of the product cap twists, I give a little squeeze to get the product out, then I use the soft brush at the top of the bottle to gently scrub the shampoo/conditioner on Jacks head. It has worked wonders for getting all that baby cradle cap finally pulled off the surface of his scalp!!! He loves the gentle movement on his head and doesn't try to pull away when I'm brushing. It's a game changer, friends. 

The other standout is the styling foam. I admit that I am THAT mom who uses styling products on my children, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Here's the thing: when I don't, my kids look like they haven't brushed their hair in weeks. Literally, the strings of flyaway hair lay directly in front of their eyes and they won't even notice enough to push it behind their ears! The styling cream keeps those strands away from their eyes and gives a little volume to the overall hair, and it does wonders for all three of my cuties. 

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We like keeping Jack's hair thick and full, not too short and not too long. The front of his hair tends to get in his eyes and the back of his hair tends to stick up straight without any product, so it has been a daily routine to run some product through his hair to keep it tame. The girls get the treatment when I'm feeling less of that before school rush. I used it a lot this week when we were heading to the beach and I knew the wind would be unruly and their manes totally out of hand. Very effective, as usual. The de-tangler is amazing post-bath to get the knots out of their tresses. 

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Target is now carrying the SoCozy Hush line, which makes me so happy. All the best in a store with furniture, food, and mops... there's no reason to make an extra trip anywhere else. Most SoCozy products are with other hair product aisle, but the hush line is placed in the baby aisle, so be sure you're heading to the right department when you shop, OR, just get them online!

I rarely accept sponsored posts on the blog, because I don't want to be the push-the-products site, but this post IS sponsored by SoCozy. I was introduced to SoCozy products about three years ago through blogging, and I've been using them on my children since. It feels natural (and thoroughly beneficial to me AND you) to be able to discuss something I love already in a sponsored post. All opinions are my own. There's a disclaimer for ya.